I went through a bad burnout

I grew up in a country that was recovering after a communist regime. I am not sure how life is now in Romania (I have lived for more than 20 years) but back then we were struggling a lot. Being part of a family that was numerous - 5 kids - was not helping. My parents were both working but it was still difficult to make ends meet.

I remember rarely seeing my dad because he had to keep two jobs and my mum was most times overwhelmed by raising us up and all the other challenges she was going through. I remember times when we had barely anything on the table. It might seem surreal now, but poverty can be closer than you think.

My philosophy on work was quite simple from the beginning. I knew that I had to work hard to achieve, but I also had to learn to solve problems at quite a young age. I mean, we cannot choose our parents or the situation we are born in, but for better or worse, my early situation in life has taught me some skills that I would use for the rest of my life. Quite young, I was already choosing what I was going to do, I was always trying to aim high, even though many times I was failing.

All of that to say, one reason for my burnout was that I was so hard on myself and expected high-level work, not only from myself but also from my colleagues. I could not (and still cannot) stand lousy work. You must do your best in all you do! That was my mantra.

So, day and night I became consumed by my work, and like a frog that's slowly cooking, my situation was getting worse without realizing it.

The tipping point was when I came back from Romania, after burying my father (on a Wednesday) I was in the office the same week Friday and I remember my boss saying that I was late on my projects. I will never forget that. I physically could not deal with the mental pressure. The day had not enough hours in it for me to deal with my grief, work, look after my family, take care of myself...it was not possible. So I was burned out. During my next blog, I will share how I recovered from the burnout and what helped me the most, even to this day.